(one to twelve)

Trimmed and Burning — ow. um. john and sherlock, from the great game to the end. (not a long fic, though.) …..good, sad. ow. chest pains. complete. weh. ow. ow. okay i’m done. no i’m not ow ow.

The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl — whilst developing their relationship, john discovers that sherlock’s fucked like half a million people within one four-year period. and he’s like hot damn son. except not actually because that wouldn’t be a very good fic, whereas this is quite good. and no, that one discovery isn’t like, the sole focus on the fic, it focuses on relationship development johnlocky stuff. amusing, interesting, cute, touch sad, good. complete.

Like Leaves & Kings (All Things Must Fall) — sherlock is a fucking horrid flatmate. snakes, fires, poison ivy. but that’s okay because johnlock. amusing, cute, good. complete.

Anterograde — john and sherlock decide it’s time to fuck, but they don’t want to mess up their friendship, so they decide to take precautions to ensure that they will not remember the sex. but it’s okay, they film it and make a note to themselves to let themselves know whether or not the experience was worth repeating. amusing, porny. complete.

A Brilliant Almost-Birthday — john feels a bit let down that his birthday goes forgotten, but then fluff happens and it’s fluffy mcfluff. cute, amusing? complete.

A Star That Shines Brightly — john and sherlock go to marriage counseling for a case. predictable, cute, amusing. complete.

The Only Emperor — au. sherlock’s a chef, john’s a wounded sous chef, they meet and start an ice cream shop. sherlock’s one of those mad genius sort of chefs; he makes all sorts of wacky ice cream flavors. but then someone starts sabotaging them! dun dun dun. amusing, cute, interesting. complete.

and stand there at the edge of my affection — sherlock needs john’s help in writing a love letter. cute, amusing. complete.

Home — sherlock kicks john out of the flat. like. for good. but not really for good. interesting or something. … i’m writing this after trimmed and burning, it’s hard to use words. ): okay, interesting, cute?. complete.

Brilliant and Commonplace — standard johnlock development and porn. i liked the funny bits. i didn’t really like that john is trans because i missed where it blatantly said it in the tags, so i was just really confused by all the alluding to it because i am just way too stupid to understand subtlety. but i imagine the subtlety is really good for the rest of you people who are smarter than me. amusing, interesting, porny. complete.

(one through eleven)

The Detective followed by Six Wishes followed by The Companion — doctor who au. the time lord “the detective” crash-lands in the garden of seven-year-old john watson, and promises to take him on an adventure. really cute and sad, melancholy i suppose, good. complete.

Captain John Watson, Genetics, and Other Crazy Things — torchwood au. john is the son of jack harkness. amusing, i fucking laughed. complete.

Roll Away Your Stone — boarding school au. sherlock’s a fiery-tempered new kid and john is forced to tutor him to keep him out of trouble. takes place, uh. awhile in the past. yeah. cute, sad, romantic, interesting. complete.

Bound in Gold — au. sherlock is a lord or something, and mummy has arranged for him to marry this john watson guy, but they can’t even see what the other looks like until they’ve walked down the aisle. cute, interesting, sad?, good. complete.

Dehumanise Me — au. john’s sentenced for life after accidentally murdering someone, and he sort of ends up sherlock’s bitch. and then things go all adventure-like. not silly like it might sound. interesting, good, cute?, sad?. dubcon and other questional aspects certainly. complete.

Family Affairs — au. after losing his family in a car accident, nine-year-old john is taken in by the holmes family for a two-month trial period to gauge suitably as the frisky young sherlock’s new brother. will they adopt him or won’t they? dun dun dunnn. cute, sad (granted i was hormonal or something when i read it), bit adventurous. complete.

Sherlock’s Moving Castle — howl’s moving castle au (dur). from start to finish. fast-paced yet tranquil. cute, saddish, interesting, adventurous, good. complete.

The Backwards Alphabet — teen au. john, a med student, meets this charismatic douchebag one night and they hang out. simple, good, amusing. complete.

A Brief History of Johns — after burying his sixth john in the backyard, sherlock decides he’s done. but he’s nootttttt! short, cute, touch saddish. complete.

A Silver Sixpence — sherlock makes john marry him for a case. predictable but cute, good enough. complete.

Tales From the Teacup and Tiny Is As Tiny Does — au. life with sherlock and his borrower-sized little buddy john. cute, simple. complete.

Down the Pub With the Rugby Lads — john has a night out with some old friends who, but for stamford, don’t know that sherlock is john’s new boo. cute, sad, owie, good. complete.

Catch As Catch Can — sherlock and his criticism of the normal, inane things that john likes really pisses john off eventually. so he sends sherlock on a merry scavenger hunt of sorts to teach him a lesson. prize: john. amusing, cute, etc. complete.

In Search of a Word: A Symphony of First Times — au. john’s wife sarah drags him to the symphony, and you know what, the concertmaster’s pretty damn hard to resist. relationship things! i don’t know not bad, maybe interesting. complete.

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(thanks to this list for some!)

A Study in Winning — wimbledon au. really long, quite good. john and sherlock are, obviously, competing for the wimbledon cup. still very good if you’re not into tennis, as in my case. romantic, fluffy, angsty, good, etc. complete.

Getting Better — au. sherlock and john are single parents whose kids befriend each other at school. adventures ensue. good, cute, enjoyable, interesting. complete.

The Long Drive and its sequels — john, sherlock and lestrade have to go on a long car trip together. good, funny, cute, funny, yeah, touch sad. complete.

Floriography — imagine me & you au. john weds his bff mary, but can’t get out of his mind the thought of the sexy florist from his wedding. cute, sad, romantic, interesting. complete.

Father Trap — parent trap au. john and sherlock’ve got twin daughters, blah blah, you know the plot. predictable, but fluffy and cute and enjoyable, with a touch of angst. complete.

Once I Saw Him in the Moonlight — au. hardcore bestiality. sherlock and werewolf!john do naughty things while john’s in his wolf form. sweet jesus it’s horrifying. horrible, terrible, hilarious, but actually well-written. but still horrifying. i love it. goddamn it’s awful. complete.

Odd Lady — sherlock’s turned into a chick. what i initially liked about it was that it steadfastly referred to sherlock with the male pronoun despite his physical sex, ‘cause i mean, only his body changed. not great, but short, porny, cute. complete.

A Matter of Camping — sherlock and john go camping for a case and end up confronting the tension between them. not great, but good, cute, bit interesting, worth a read. complete.

Rules of Unity — sherlock makes john come to his college reunion. not great, but good, cute, amusing, whatever. complete.

Outclassed, Outplayed and Outnumbered — outnumbered au. sherlock and john have three naughty kids. very silly, but i laughed. complete.

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(many of these found here! but i dislike a lot of the ones on that list, s’why i need my own list.)

The Art of Seduction — au. instead of detective work, sherlock uses sex as his creative outlet. so. he’s a sex guru. his site: the science of seduction. but you know what, he just won’t have sex with his gay flatmate john! the nerve! quite good, cute, fluffy, suspenseful, sad, icky, adventure, good. complete.

the theory of narrative causality — au. sherlock and john are both bnfs in the sherlock holmes lj fandom; sherlock’s a trouble-making artist and john likes to write porn. eventually they’re stuck working on a big bang together. good, cute, fluffy, amusing, surprising, unique. complete.

26 Pieces — it seems mycroft’s given sherlock a case to keep him busy, but it kinda turns out to be a miniature shitstorm in which sherlock and john are caught. adventure, suspense, icky, owie, cute, sad, good. complete.

Till Now I Never Knew followed by Interlude followed by Find a Way to You — au. so it starts out with the holmes and watson families spending summers together as john and sherlock grow up, with the two boys going from hatred to looove. normal stuff. and then… it turns into the swan princess. surprisingly good, adventurous, cute, sad, painful, suspenseful, magicks, romantic. ongoing, but there’s a ton there as it stands.

F’ing Cake — sherlock fucks a chocolate cake. nothing more need be said. oh - except that john stumbles into the experiment. complete.

The Progress of Sherlock Holmes — interesting little thing. sherlock’s pov. i’ve actually only read the first chapter but wuteva wuteva. sherlock’s prose is.. interesting. he quite loves john, you see. cute? maybe maybe not, but interesting. complete.

You’re the One for Me, Fatty — john’s gained some weight due to his aging metabolism and less active lifestyle. not a terribly good fic by any means, but i like it for its gratuitous use of the word “fat”? and because aw john you squishy baby. cute. complete.

(numbers 1-8 here)

Performance in a Leading Role — actor au. sherlock’s an arrogant oscar winner who is less than thrilled by the prospect of sharing the screen with john, king of romance comedies. it isn’t nearly as hokey as it sounds, don’t worry. it’s really very long and in-depth and realistic and satisfying. amusing, cute, ..suspenseful?, interesting, romantic. complete.

Working It Out — sherlock and john try to develop their relationship. the kind of fic where you’re constantly going “OH poor sweet baby no.” interesting, painful, sad, cute, relatable in a weird way, really good. ongoing.

Lights of Endangered Species — zombie apocalypse au. post-reichenbach. only a couple chapters up so far, but it’s quite promising. interesting, sad….?, … yeah. ongoing.

This Broken Jaw of Our Lost Kingdoms — harry potter crossover. post-reichenbach. john visits the holmes estate to converse with a portrait of sherlock. sad and cute. short. complete.

Behavioural Modification — feel like i’ve already put this one but wuteva wuteva i don’t think i did. cute and tragic in a way similar to working it out. sherlock tries to make his relationship with john work. cute, tragic, interesting, etc. etc., quite good. complete.

An Offer of Kryptonite — john buys some chocolate eclairs for sherlock. some nice sweet sticky oozing blatantly phallic eclairs. amusing, interesting, cute. complete.

Is That An Emoticon in Your Pocket or Are You Just Happy to See Me? — very short. some texts between sherlock and john. very silly and fluffy. tad amusing. complete.

Two Doctors, A Nurse, A Detective and A Scot — doctor who crossover. i’ve not watched doctor who so i don’t know about the accuracy, but i liked it. cute, simple, amusing, good. complete.

Gigue in C Major — i don’t.. even.. um. john’s received flowers from a new girlfriend, and sherlock wants to figure out who it is. ..silly.. lots of instrumental/musical references.. amusing. complete.

Gigue in G Major — prompt: “what makes sherlock laugh?” cute, amusing. complete.

Duet for Violin and Viola in A Major — post-reichenbach. sherlock’s in los angeles or something and is forced to more or less hitch a ride with some lady. they talk. and stuff. interesting, amusing, decent. ongoing.

(numbers 1-7 are here)

The Proposition followed by Slow Sweet Surrender — so this was the first sherlock fic i ever read, and perhaps for that alone i regard it fondly. (i just yesterday managed to find it again after many months wondering about it.) it was recommended on my dash, so i went ahead and read it despite having never seen the bbc show. in fact, i didn’t even know that it took place modernly. figured that out mid-fic. anyway! mycroft orchestrated much of john’s life to place him with sherlock. and sherlock really is a sociopath. smutty. kind of just fucked up. definite dub-con, d/s. complete.

The Pleasure-Dome Hotel — au. everyone is either a dom or a sub, and sherlock indulges in john’s services in a hotel. bdsm. interesting. porn. complete.

Immortal Love — vampish au. “you’ve fucked me alive?” “worse. i’ve fucked you immortal.” …yeah. just… yeah. complete.

The Secret — sherlock’s asexual, right? so john figures the best way to deal with his crush is to try to forcibly “become” asexual as well. it doesn’t work. duh. kind of cute?, sexually frustrating. some smut. complete.

Chameleon — au, sentinel crossover. (you don’t have to be familiar with this sentinel thing to read; i wasn’t.) john goes to extreme lengths to project his ordinariness when revealing his true nature would mean giving up his independence to bond with a sentinel. interesting!, adventure, weirdly sexually pleasing. non-con, incesty vibes, force. ongoing.

Collared — au. the british empire relies on slavery, and abolitionist john has been forced into the role of sherlock’s slave. no, not like porno slave. mycroft gives him to sherlock, who frankly doesn’t want a slave, to break. quite interesting, adventurous, etc. non-con, slavery, bad stuff like that. ongoing.

The Infiltrate Series — have i already recommended this one? idk. big long adventurous thing, well not thaaaaat ginormous but anyway. sherlock and john are after moriarty. and the chase gets gruesome. but there’s also a lot of character stuff and family stuff and.. stuff. it was really pretty good. … shut up i’m tired. interesting, adventurous, cute, sad, suspenseful, idk, idk. complete.

The Long Game — john and sherlock survive their rendezvous at the pool, only for john to be forced to go on a “treasure hunt” for moriarty. interesting, adventurous, idk, maybe cute, good read. complete.

Of Chairs and Skulls — extremely short, simple, generic christmas fic. but cute. complete.

Two Better Men — short interesting little character study on sherlock and john. good. slightly different take. complete.

The Christmas Madness Drabbles — another christmas fic. slightly less generic. sherlock really loves the holidays. cute, silly. short. complete.

Of Urgent Cases and Office Closets — i like it ‘cause it makes me think of house and wilson. grammar needs some work but tolerable. on the fluff side? sherlock is pestering john at work. complete.

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Six, Six, Six — sherlock and john in their old age on valentine’s day. fluffy, adorable, short. complete.

String of Beads — largely, though not entirely, post-reichenbach. from start to finish. angst, fluff, cute, friendship, love, sad, whatever. complete.

Fallen followed by Invisible Bonds — au. john was sherlock’s guardian angel, until he intervened and consequently lost his wings. and then comes back as a sort-of human to continue looking after sherlock. whoo. quite interesting, unique, adventure, cute. no romance or sex, at least no sign of it yet; the love’s platonic. ongoing.

An Unnecessary Study in Grief — post-reichenbach. you know the formula. angst, sad, love, stuff, etc. complete.

Impropriety Be Damned — porn on the floor while mycroft and mrs. hudson are downstairs. short. porny, duh. complete.

The dangerous book for boys — au. sherlock and john attend the same school, and both have their secrets. well-written. adventure, sad, cute, suspenseful?, i don’t know. complete.

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Semper Fidelis — john and anthea have been framed and have to go through hell and high water to clear their names, because sherlock and mycroft are stupid fuckers who fell for moriarty’s plot and whatnot. adventure, suspense, cringe-worthy at times (because owies), interesting?, maybe a bit sad at times. complete.

Faerie-Touched — au. sherlock’s part faerie, and all the folks at scotland yard are sorcerers, but john is utterly normal. but he’s still got something up his sleeve. interesting, cute. complete.

The Internet Is Not Just For Porn — sherlock’s scored himself a boyfriend on the internet, a fellow named john from canada. …but does he actually exist? cute, fluffy, amusing. complete.

The Deepest Secret Nobody Knows — sally-centric, actually, but really good. so, the real reason that sally hates sherlock is ‘cause he knocked her up once. interesting, sad!, emotions?, um interesting. complete.

Sherlock Holmes’ Diary — fusion with bridget jones’ diary. sherlock… has a diary. yep. damn well amusing, cute, entertaining. ongoing?

Reaction — before suiting him up in semtex, moriarty raped john. fic is relatively long, focuses largely on john’s road to recovery. interesting, emotions. complete.

Finger on the Trigger — au. john is actually a retired assassin, but in every other respect he’s the same ol’ john. shortish. interesting, bit amusing, idk, not fabulous but perfectly decent. complete.

The Baker Street Flat — au. the lake house crossover. i saw the lake house but could only remember the barest points of the plot, so i don’t know how much is spoiled in the fic by having good knowledge of the movie. anyway, john and sherlock exchange letters despite one being two years farther in the future than the other. bit cute, suspenseful (well it was for me), interesting. complete.

We Believe — you know that “i believe in sherlock holmes” movement on the internets? well, it’s started up post-reichenbach in the series too, thanks to some skilled graffiti that kicks off the movement. interesting, good. ongoing.

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Lab Book — It’s Christmas Eve and Sherlock deduces John’s sexuality. (What better way to celebrate?) Simple, cute-ish, amusing, fluff. Complete.

Strange At the Gate — AU. Sherlock is a vampire on a mission, although human John sure is proving to be a distraction. Better (and cuter) than it sounds, actually. Cute, bit sad, idk, amusing, interesting. Ongoing.

A Quiet Murmuration — Sherlock’s pissed John off, and must pay him back through a thousand kisses. Relationship development. Cute, fluff. Complete.

Day of Rest — Sherlock and John spend a lazy Sunday in bed. Simple, cute, fluff. Complete.

Under Control — John discovers he’s got a hypnosis kink, and his relationship with Sherlock finds a new balance. Interesting, idk cute and sexy sometimes, maybe, something. Longish, which is good. Complete.

Many Wounds — How Sherlock responds to various injuries John sustains, beginning with a paper cut. Interesting, bit cute, interesting. Complete.

The Paradox Series — Sherlock is beautiful, but John is good. Looooong, which is great to waste lots of hours. Darker, sharper. Good. Very good, actually, and Sherlock’s somewhat more demented thought processes are pretty striking. Sad, cute, … I don’t know it’s stuff. Complete for now.

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(a fair chunk of the fics about to be listed are from this rec list! ..i don’t actually remember which ones, though.)

How to Accidentally Summon a Demon followed by How to Accidentally Open a Portal to Hell — yes, well. the titles are pretty self-explanatory. perfectly amusing. pretty short. complete.

The Goodge Street Gambit and the Controversial Non-Holmesian Principle — in which john and lestrade indulge in a game of mornington crescent. fucking funny. complete.

Wrong Order — donovan and anderson try to pull a prank on sherlock, and it goes dangerously wrong. decent read to pass the time. complete.

untitled kink meme fic in which john basically just shows them that he’s a badass. very short. amusing. or something. complete.

Apotheosis — au. john makes it his mission to kill moriarty, while sherlock remains in london. interesting, sad, ow, lovely, good. complete.

The World on His Wrist followed by Elsewhere Come Morning — au. quite interesting. john is consciously living in four different realities, and every time he wakes up he’s swapped to one of the other four alternate realities. interesting, like i said, and idk amusing sad something it’s got stuff i don’t know. ongoing, i think, actually.

A Very Delicate Mission — john’s sent to fetch sherlock after the two have become estranged after some fight. not spectacular but a good little read. complete.

the sensation of falling as you just hit sleep — because yes, it’s that good, so i’m recommending it again. post-reichenbach. very sad and cute and interesting and owie. ongoing.

Dwindle followed by Home Is When I’m Alone With You — some two years after reichenbach, sherlock cracks. he goes home. saddish, interesting, iunno. gay. complete.

Who Wants To Be Normal, Anyway? (Abnormality Is Much More Fun.) — john gays it up. average. not bad. i’m getting lazy with descriptions. anyway, sherlock and john eventually get together. complete.

Spontaneity — very short porny thing. adrenaline-fueled handjob. complete.

The Heart in the Whole — gaaaaaayyy. sherlock’s blinded that day at the pool. very long, so very useful if you need something to kill looots of time. gay, idk emotional things maybe. complete.

this is shorter than i thought it’d be whoops.